The Spandex Crowd - Road Pests

I hate these fuckers.

I was on a road trip in New Mexico last month and we were traveling on a narrow two-lane road with almost no shoulders and there were hundreds of these assholes strung out for miles and miles screwing up motor traffic.

Some of them were riding two or three wide so there was no way to get around them if there was opposing traffic or yellow lines.  It was as if they were just daring a motorist to hit them.

We need an energetic entrepreneur to develop and market a device to mount under the hood of motor vehicles which incorporates a very load directional speaker and a recording of a car in a full, screaming skid so you can come up behind these assholes and clear the road.

Don't give me any shit about bicycling on public roads being eco-friendly, or healthy; these people are a menace.


  1. The bad part about these assholes is the frikken law is on THEIR side with the "share the road shit" signs. Seems the cops immediately
    take their side when something happens and I always say...why don't the cops ever think it's as funny as you do....

  2. I love that picture!

  3. The question I alway have is why don't they do this in their OWN neighborhood? I live in Baton Rouge and there are people who *drive* for thirty miles to go ride their bicycles on the river road in St. Gabriel.
    Quick clue:
    There are several thousand houses and hundreds of businesses and a dozen chemical plants that have to use that road every day.
    The scene in the picture above was duplicated one day when a drunk man hit a group of these people and killed two. After that they started becoming militant and actively pulling in front of you if you tried to pass them. They even hired an escort truck to run behind them during their little scheduled runs.

    And yet those guys on the overpass in Missouri were arrested after exercising their first amendment right because they were a traffic hazard.

  4. Just drove through the roads where critical mass lawyers were smooshed north of San Francisco a few years back. They wouldn't stop riding 4 abreast and a guy just lost it. Road Rage. I'd have voted to acquit for temporary justifiable insanity or justifiable homicide. Nobody taught them to ride like that when they were growing up.