Sympathy Is Wasted On Certain People

A very gentile Texas lady was driving across a high bridge in 
Austin. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a
young man fixin ("fixin," of course, means: 'Has the meansor 
abilities to take action') to jump...

She stopped her car, rolled down the window, and said, "Please
don't jump! Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied, "My mom and dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said, "Well, think of your sweet wife and precious children."

He replied, "I'm not married, and I don't have any kids."

She said, "Well, then you just remember the Alamo."

He replied, ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied, ''Well bless your heart... just go ahead and jump, 
you little Yankee Democrat Bastard!''